Ashes
by Titania of Fairies
Summary: Her name is Homura. Therefore it's only right she lets everything burn. Fem!27 and Fem!59
1. Chapter 1

**Surprise, new book! Like I totally have the time to do that!**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own KHR, it belongs to Amano - sama and all of the producers and editors which helped create the anime. This book is purely fan made and I own none of the characters except Luna.

**Warning and Tags:** Fem!27 and SI-OC!Fem!59. Mentions of Drugs, Mafia, Guns, Blood, Death, Slightly Dark, Mentions of Abuse, Coarse Language, ships are slow burn.

**Summary: **Her name is Homura. Therefore, it's only right that she lets everything burn.

* * *

Her name is Gokudera Homura.

No, she can't be called that - she not _allowed _to be called that.

Therefore, her name is Marino Homura.

She was born on September 9th, 1993. As a baby, she weighed barely four pounds and from the top of her head, to the tips of her toes, she was seventeen inches long. Her hair was just wisps on her head, although they were already prominently silver in color - while her face was pale and flawless, her lips upturning into a burgundy hue. However, it was her eyes which caused her mother to smile, her tired face beaming at the image of her young daughter. Cobalt green shines back at the woman, it's surface gleaming in the light of the manor.

"She's beautiful." The mother heard her lover say and suddenly, the silver haired woman is struck with the thoughts of that no, he wasn't her husband, and that he would never be. No matter how much she loved him.

The thought didn't upset her as much as it did before. Mostly because she didn't need a physical manifestation of his love to her anymore, she didn't need endless gifts or millions of proposals. The child in her arms, showed her more about their love, then any other item could.

Lavina smiled, her own pink lips twisting into a upwards motion, and her eyes shining with love and melancholy bitterness. "Gokudera. Gokudera Homura, my raging flame."

It was only then, that the child cried, her sobs echoing throughout the room. Her legs trashed around in escape, as her tears slid down the ends of her cheeks, into the towel around her delicate body. However, it was the pure destruction in her eyes was what caused her mother to laugh delicately and yet, with an eerie sense of foreboding.

"You, will bring the change _mia caro**(1)**_. You will bring the rage."

Her name is Gokudera Homura.

And she is the storm.

* * *

Her name is Marino Homura.

And she was only two years old, when she realized who she really was.

The thought that she is reincarnated is not lost on her, after all, one does not truly forget the fact that they died. Most nights, she could still felt the flames crawling up her skin and basking her in the heat, causing her to wake up either with a fever or heavily sweating. The smell of smoke often filled throughout her body, making her have severe coughing fits wherever she went. Yet, oddly the fire didn't - doesn't - scare her. In fact, she feels comfort around fire - its' warmth lulling her into secure feelings which she only gets around her sister.

Ironic, how she died from a fire in her last life.

Her musing were cut short when she heared footsteps echo around her, causing her tiny body to perk up in confusion and questions. After all, the footsteps didn't sound like any of her family members - her fathers were precise and commanding, while her mothers' were soft and dainty and her elder sisters were loud and uncooperative. The servants also had a similar movement, making sure their feet were only on the ground for less then two seconds, before bringing it up once more. As a child with an adult mind and all the time in the world to do nothing, it was no surprise that she tried to find different ways to amuse herself - this being one of them which had stuck quite well.

_**'A guest then.' **_She finally thought to herself, before returning her muse towards the lesson in front of her, the silver of her hair falling into her eyes as she tried to study the Italian script. While English came easy enough to her (not odd, considering how it was her first language before) - and it was only the grammar that tricked her up; Italian was an entirely different story. The way the vowels formed in her mouth caused her to stumble, and the only way she able to communicate with others, was with writing and letters. Even those she messed up on, therefore having to have her sister speak for her. As a independent adult in her last life, it was annoying to have to rely on someone else for a change, something which only sparked a fierce determination in her to learn the language.

The footsteps suddenly stopped, and the presence of a person caused Homura to still and her hand paused as it was outstretched to reach for a pen. Standing up slowly, with her leg muscles screaming in soreness, and turning around, the young girl gasped quietly - not at the fact that there was a stranger; after all, many people entered their house to work with her father, so she was used to it; however, it was the resemblance between the two of them, which had her stilling.

Long silver hair whirred into her vision, the ends of it touching the floor as the purple dress the person had on did as well. Pale skin - almost white, came into her view of sight, as the distinct color of magenta lips entered her brain as well. However, it was only the green of the other womans eyes, which caused Homura to stop and stare.

Mostly because, they were the same color of her own.

Then, the woman smiled, causing the younger girl to blink at the pure love and _wonder _in the strangers' eyes. She didn't even know this woman, so why, why was she looking at her like that? The one year old wouldn't admit that it made her feel warm - the coincidences were much too drastic and her her mind was clouded with suspicion.

"Hello. May Homura _he~lp_ lady?" What was _you _again in Italian? She _did_ say you, right? Damn. She got that wrong, didn't she? Well, it wouldn't be the first time - nor would it be the last.

"Ah." The older woman said, causing the little girl to bite her tongue. How could ones' voice be so majestic and yet, sweet? "No, thank you...Homura - _chan_, was it?"

_Chan, _that was Japanese wasn't it? How odd, the lady didn't look completely of Japanese dissent, but maybe she lived their before?

A jerk of her head, was all Homuea was able to give to give to the woman, before her mouth opened once more, with a question. It wasn't her fault, she rarely was able to talk with anyone, as they usually didn't understand what she was saying. "And you is?"

"It's _are, _Homura - _chan. Are."_

"And you are?" She replied once more, prompting the older woman to sigh slightly, before responding, a smile on her face and a hint of amusement in her eyes.

"My name is Gokudera Lavina, Homura - _chan. _You may call me Lavina."

Oh.

Reality came rushing in towards her, as the distinct sound of the clock chiming and the insidious laughter of a voice starts to ring between her ears. Homura found herself swallowing, denial clear on her features, as her hands begun to shake with worry and her breaths came out shuttered. There's no way, right? No way that she could be born into a _manga, _one which doesn't even remember anything about. _(But she does remember - she remembers the fights and blood and loses. She remembers the death, the pain - mostly, she remembers how the old her laughed it off, stating that it was just a story)._

It's not a story anymore, is it?

"Homura - _chan_? Are you okay?" Lavina's concerned voice called towards her small body, causing the young girl to snap back into order, lessons of etiquette ingrained into her adult like mind.

She could deal with this revelation later.

"Homura is fine." The one year old said smiling tightly, hoping that it hid the quiet distress in her eyes.

"Well then, what are you doing here, Homura - _chan?" _The older woman asked, causing Homura to blink a few times and turn back to her work a scowl placed on her face.

"Homura is a learnin' _It~ali~an_."

"Oh?" Lavina looked curious at this, her head cocking towards the side as she asked the next question. "Are you having trouble?"

A single nod of her head and furrow of her brow, was all it took, for the older woman to smile and sit down next to the younger girls feet, an encouraging expression on her face. Patting down the area beside her, the silver haired woman watched as Homura hesitantly sat down next to her, before down up at her face - a smile at her lips. "How about I help you? After all, it was hard for me to learn Italian as well."

"It..." She trailed off at this, before scrunching her nose in confusion. "It ain't your one la - language."

"No it isn't my first language, it's my second." Lavina said, flawlessly understanding her garbled mess; causing Homura to become startled at how happy she was at that. It really isn't her fault, considering the fact that it had been years that someone could completely communicate with her.

"Hmm, wh'ts your f~_irst_?"

"Japanese."

Suddenly, the older womans features made much more sense to the younger girl. Still, she should've known that fact - after all, even in the manga Lavina had been half Japanese - the only thing which she could remember about the older woman.

The silver haired girl blamed it on the fact that it was a bit jarring to see someone who was on paper, speak and laugh. No, wait - she couldn't think like that anymore, the woman in front of her was living and breathing - her skin made of the same material as her own, and blood pumping in her veins. Not anymore, was Lavina just a name she'd heard in a passing by.

It was important now.

It seemed that her denial was gone. Snorting slightly, the young shook her head at the elder womans inquisitive gaze, before continuing on with her lesson. Honestly though, the fact that she hadn't freaked out or fainted already was alarming as well. However, it could be due to the fact while her thinking process was like an adult, her brain was still only as developed as a child - meaning that larger shocks would become much less severe. It was either that, or the whole prospect hadn't sunk in yet.

She would most likely go with the latter.

Sighing slightly, Homura found herself repeating the words which Lavina said, her voice soft and calm. However, it was the determination in her eyes, which caused the older woman to smile fondly - wiping away tears when the two year old couldn't see them. She hadn't admitted it, in hopes of it to leave her, however, she had dearly missed her darling daughter.

On the other hand, the younger girl seemed to be at a pause. Her brain suddenly struck with a piece of information, which she later wished she hadn't realized. After all, ignorance was a bliss, wasn't it? Her mind began buzzing, as questions popped into her head. Her name was Homura, right? Was she supposedly a side character which hadn't been shown in the manga? No that couldn't be it, after all, her brain nagged her, stating that evaluation was incorrect.

Shaking her head, she pushed those thoughts away - inserting them into the back of her mind. She think about it later, surely it wasn't much of a big deal.

Her name is Marino Homura and if only she knew how wrong her hypothesis was, then maybe she would've been able prevent what was to come.

* * *

Her name is...Homura, and she knows the truth.

It was only after Lavina left, promising that she'd come back the next day, that Homura remembered the facts, the _story_. _(it wasn't a story anymore - and it scared her, it scared her so goddamn much-)_

Gokudera Hayato, that's who she was - or rather, is.

Guilt was the first prominent emotion in her brain, after all, if now she's Hayat...Gokudera, then what happened to the original Gokudera? Did he just die, just as soon as she took over his body - or_ she, _if that's what she should say now, Did the original die, as a girl who had yet to live? Did she die forgotten like the other hundreds of people in the world?

She did, didn't she? - And it was all Homura's fault.

Her eyes shot open like a torpedo, as her brain whirred like a hurricane, causing her to break into fits of coughing, her eyes growing misty with confusion. It wasn't the time now to think about such stuff, what was more important was about the upcoming events. However, there was no way that they would happen, right? Then again, if she really was in the manga (and there was too much evidence to say otherwise - including her impending depression) then everything that happened in it, would happen here.

Homura didn't want that.

She didn't want to be caught up in the fighting, the politics and the death. She just wanted to be normal human being, and live a peaceful life - maybe have a few children. Really though, it was odd that with her policies and behavioral traits, that she was reborn into the female version of one of the most..._irritable_ person in the entire manga. After all, she was almost nothing like Gokudera Hayato, save for the fact that her brains were more developed then they should've been - and that was only because of her reincarnation_**(how she was wrong, ever so wrong, but she would learn and she would grow. Both Hayato and her, they were oh so similar that it hurt - however, she only realized that when it was too late and when everything she loved started to leav-)**._ The female knew that she couldn't completely escape the plot of the manga, however, she refused to act as someone she wasn't. Whether fate, liked it or not - although currently, she was would think that it was leaning towards the latter. Whatever, it was its fault she was in this situation anyways, therefore, it technically couldn't judge.

After all, while she did want a peaceful life, it wasn't like it was meant for her. She had to admit, both her old self and her new body, thrived on the rush of action.

So she would improvise, the silverette decided, shaking her head firmly. Yes, she would improvise and make sure to change whatever she could, into her favor. After all, that was something she's always been good at, may she be Gokudera Homura or Agata Luna.

Suddenly a thought struck her, causing her eyebrows to furrow slightly. If her last name in the manga was Gokudera, then why was it Marino, now? Yet, the answer came in the form of a question, one which did not come from her, or anyone around her - causing the young girl to jump from the sudden voice.

**_'Think about the manga, who was Lavina in the manga?'_**

As the understanding came towards her, her face begun to pale, making the already white skin of her face, go even more white - her body beginning to look translucent. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head, as the familiar feeling of bile and bitterness began to crawl up her throat and into her mouth. Her stomach lurched, before she swung her head over the side of her bed, throwing up all over the ground - her lips burning with the bile. As her sight begun to fade and forehead started throbbing from all of her thoughts, the young girl shut her eyes, promising to clean the mess up in the morning.

It wasn't long before she fell asleep, nightmares haunting her past the skin of her eyelids.

Just like always - because her name is Gokudera Homura, and she is a demon.

And demons don't deserve a peaceful, happy life.

* * *

Her name is Gokudera Homura.

She plans.

It took a minimum amount of time and effort for her to convince her father to allow Lavina to be hired as her tutor. All she did, was smile up at him with her innocent smile and plead with her puppy eyes, before explaining how and why she wants the other silverette to become her tutor. After explaining that she won't except anyone else but her, her father sighed, before submitting and allowing the older woman to teach her. It did help that, (if she hadn't been wrong) he was still in love with her - therefore he would feel much better with her near his eyes. Probably due to the fact that he was a Mafia boss, therefore, it would be better if the people he cared about were closer towards him.

Rather than her father, Homura was surprised at how long it took her to convince the said woman to become her tutor. First, the older woman had been calm and kind, saying that it was nice of her to offer, but she had her own job. The two year old had to insist that she would pay her more, before the twenty two year old became a bit more frazzled, her nerves appearing. Quite a while was spent with the both of them politely arguing, before Homura finally had enough - considering the fact that a migraine had been starting to form in her head. In fact, it was probably only due to her short stunted sentences that the elder female hadn't been able to get out of the exchange yet. Finally, she asked whether or not Lavina liked her old job, and when the older woman hesitantly said no, the girl had pressed on, asking why she wouldn't take this new job then? When Lavina had been silent, Homura had sighed, disappointment in her eyes, before stating that when she had an answer, to please come to her. It was only as she turned around, and walked away had she heard the quiet acquiescence of the familiar eyed woman - settling her own nerves and beating heart instantaneously.

So it was decided. Lavina would be moving into their house and she would hopefully be settled into her room by next friday. Homura would do anything to make sure that the events wouldn't go as they did in the manga - maybe she didn't know the older woman well, however, she owed it towards the real Gokudera Hayato, to fix what was broken.

Maybe then, some of her guilt would disappear.

Sighing softly, the young girl clutched her head as she stared at the paper in front of her, her musings being cut through with logic. While it was safe for her to write down what she remembered, the young girl was still worried about someone unneeded to come along and read what she would write. Many people could read English, so that was a language which was out of the question, along with Italian - not that she was good enough at writing it yet.

What could she do then? It was granted that after a while her memory would fade, and she had to make sure that she didn't forget anything crucial to the story line - especially if her life was depending on it. She wouldn't, _couldn't_ die another time - Homura couldn't handle those feelings of helplessness and pain again.

As her headache began to pound more insistently in her brain, she sighed and pushed the book aside, willing it to go away. Even in her last life, she had received the migraines, but never so harshly or stubbornly. Groaning, the silver haired woman paused as she heard the familiar thundering footsteps rush up the hall, coming closer and closer towards her room.

Counting down towards zero, with a soft smile spreading on her face, Homura waited until the last seconds, before she snapped her eyes open - just in time for the door to swing out with a thud, and another person to storm into the room, their eyes fiery and eyebrows drawn into a thin line.

"Who is it!? Who's the new nanny?" A five year old girl with pink hair said, bursting into the hollow, dark room, her lime green eyes twitching ever so slightly.

"Bianchi, no wreck 'nother door." Homura said sternly, watching as her sister gained a hearty blush over the tops of her cheeks and over to the tips of her eyes.

"Sorry _sorella, _but i'm just annoyed. Is it true, do we have a new nanny?" The future Poison Scorpion asked, calming down slightly, however her eyes were still wide and curious.

The silver haired girl smiled despite herself, before shaking her head, causing her sister to perk up slightly. "Thank goodness. I was worried that we'd get _another _one."

Biting her lip, Homura softly responded, her eyes filled with amusement. "Bianchi would..." Suddenly, her nose scrunched up in disturbance, trying to find the right words. "make 'em leave."

"What do you mean?" The older girl asked softly, a mischievous grin on her face. "I have no idea what you're talking about _sorella. _After all, the nannies left from poison sickness, nothing that I could do about."

Snorting, the cobalt green eyed girl shook her head, before leveling her sister with a glare - however, it did nothing on her chubby, childlike face, in fact, it only served to make her look like an angry kitten. "No lie. Lie is bad." The two year old said, with as much conviction as she could muster, causing her older sister to hide a giggle.

"Alright _sorella, _I won't lie...As long as you tell me why that lady was here earlier. After all, if she isn't a new nanny, then who is she?"

Ah, the art of blackmail - something which all good Mafia members had to learn. Although, it was shocking for her _five year old _sister to learn it (no matter how she used it on little things), but what should she expect anyways? They were daughter of a Mafia leader, it was expected of them to learn that art. With that thought sobering her up, Homura grew quiet, as she stared at her older sister, a calculating look on her face. Now that she knew who she was, the girl remembered the strained relationship that the...original had with Bianchi. However, looking at the small (although taller than her), lime eyed girl that was looking up at her now, the silverette wondered how that could even happen. Homura loved Bianchi and Bianchi loved Homura, it was as simple as that.

Nothing would change it.

Homura wouldn't _let_ anything change it.

"_Sorella? _You okay?"

Snapping out of her daze, the two year old smiled, before shaking her head softly. "Homura is fine. Ms. Lavina is Homura's tutor."

"Really? You have a new tutor? Papa, didn't mention that." The pink haired girl said thoughtfully, as the silver haired one began to respond.

"Homura asked Father. Homura likes Lavina."

"Oh?" Her elder sister raised an eyebrow at this. "You never like the tutors which you have. What's so different about this one, eh?"

" ..." The younger girl trailed off at this, unsure of how to exactly put it into words. Finally, she was struck with a set of words, which easily came out of her mouth. "Homura like her. She feel warm."

"Hmm. Alright then, I trust you."

The last few words which her sister uttered, caused the younger girl to wince, guilt unexpectedly flowing into the crooks of her heart. That, that single sentence, it was one that she could _never_ say to someone, and didn't deserve to be said to her. Every word she spoke and every laugh she let escape, all of them had to be carefully planned, unlike Bianchi. Never, could she fully and completely trust someone - if not for her own sake, but theirs'. After all, many would want that type of information, no matter how delusional it sounded.

Homura shivered. Many would kill, to get that information.

So no, she would never, ever tell anyone the truth.

It was for their own good.

Sensing her odd mood, her elder sister eyed her for a few minutes, before grabbing her by the hand and pulling her, causing the two year old to fumble onto her feet, before scowling up at her elder sister. Ignoring her pout, Bianchi shook her head, before laughing slightly. "Come on 'Mura, let's go to the Garden. We can play with Archer - you can even try to annoy him like you usually do."

With a grin pulling at her pouting lips and her expression lightening, the silverette pushed her worries to the back of her head, before allowing herself to be dragged along, her hair falling into the sight of her eyes. This, this complete and utter love, she would do anything for it. After all, Bianchi was _hers - and nobody better fucking touch was hers._

And if they did, she would skin them and then burn them alive - just like someone once did to her.

She is Gokudera Homura-

\- and she is selfish.

* * *

**So how did it go? Granted, I probably shouldn't start another book while I am writing one already, however I just can't resist it! Anyways, I hope you enjoy it, and constructive reviews would really make my day. **

**Mia Caro(1): My darling**

**Until next time!**

**~ Titania of Fairies**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **I don't own KHR, it belongs to Amano - sama and all of the producers and editors which helped create the anime. This book is purely fan made and I own none of the characters except Luna.

**Warning and Tags:** Fem!27 and SI-OC!Fem!59. Mentions of Drugs, Mafia, Guns, Blood, Death, Dark, Mentions of Abuse, Coarse Language, ships are slow burn.

**Summary: **Her name is Homura. Therefore, it's only right she lets everything burn.

* * *

"Wear this one sorella!"

Sending her older sister a blank look the younger girl busied herself with her book once more, ignoring how the five year old pouted - her own eyes zeroing in on the third line of the page. Really, it was interesting to read things she'd already read before. After all, while she already knew most of the information; her mind found different ways to apply the said knowledge. For example, coding seemed so much more fun when she actually had the materials to do it, her fathers computer being one of the main targets. Really, the level of ease she had with getting through his password was very sad, maybe she'd have a talk with him about that...

Then again, it would be weird if he found out that a two and a half year old was looking through his computer.

So maybe she wouldn't tell him.

"This one would look amazing on you." The older girl tried again, only to be shot down without hesitation.

"No."

"_Pleaseeeeeeee?_"

Sighing, the young girl raised her head from her book before turning her attention to the glittering jade dress which was hanging from her sisters elbow.

"Ms. Lavina told me that I no-_don't_ have to do anything which I don't wanna." Her grammar had been improving lately, a prospect which both excited her and terrified the adults. Apparently, children using words such as 'emasculate' and 'disassociated' was something to be worried about. Really, they were just lucky that she didn't go on a verbal rampage and cuss up a storm.

Pursing her lips, Bianchi stuck her nose in the air, before answering. "Oh yeah? Well Lavina told me that since I'm the oldest, you _have _to listen to me."

"No I don't."

"Yes you do!"

"I don't wanna." The two and a half year old insisted, her eyes narrowing as her sister suddenly gained a sneaky expression.

"If you don't wear this dress..." The five year old said slowly, "Then I guess that I'll tell cook that you had a tummy ache after eating all of the chocolates. That's a pity, after all, he _was _making tiramisu cake..."

A silence fell upon the two off them, sparks flying between their eyes as they glared at each other. After a while, the younger of the two of them, finally sighed, before answering her older sister in a grumpy tone.

"...Fine."

Ignoring how the pink haired girl jumped in joy, the two and a half year old pouted, her eyebrows wrinkled in dismay.

Curse her sister for being so childish.

(and how hypocritical was that?)

* * *

Her mother (technically wasn't she her stepmother...?) hated her.

"That green dress looks ugly." _On you, _were the words that were unsaid, but heard.

Well she didn't hate her exactly, but she certainly didn't like her - as every time Homura entered the room, she was shot a nasty look and a thinly veiled insult. When she'd first begun to understand what was happening and that she'd been reborn, the young girl had been confused at why she was treated that way from the only mother figure that she'd ever known. Back then, she'd ignored it, finding her language book much more interesting to read, than trying to figure out her 'mothers' feelings towards her.

However, as soon as Lavina had been brought into the picture, everything slowly began to make sense.

The older woman must've seen Homura as some sort of threat and was guarded against her, because of it. The younger girl didn't really mind, after all, a mothers love wasn't something she'd ever experienced, therefore it wasn't like she was missing something; as you couldn't miss something if you didn't know how it felt. However, it really was annoying when that whiny woman tried to separate her from Bianchi.

Bianchi was one of hers, so that bitch could go fuck off.

Honestly, while the manga had mentioned Gokudera's father - they never really talked about his stepmother. Even if they did, the young girl couldn't really remember it, after all, they were only mob characters so they didn't matter right?

The two and a half year was slowly realizing that wasn't the case.

After all, a simple mobs characters actions shouldn't have hurt as much as it did when that woman slapped her. A simple mob characters words shouldn't have hurt as much as it did when she was yelled at by that woman. Really, it was no surprise that whenever her father asked for family dinners she pretended to be ill; after all, she'd rather not be in the presence of someone who made her throw up, thank you very much.

Homura preferred to ignore her stepmother, because in the end, there wasn't anything she could really do anything against her. It wasn't like a two and a half year old could physically hit an older woman _(**yet**)_, and Homura had no interest in blessing someone so useless with her effort. Not to mention, speaking up for herself was much too bothersome and she didn't really care about what the older woman thought; after all, it was best to stay under the radar. Who knew what that woman would do if she pissed her off, after all, she _was_ from an esteemed mafia family and she must have some connections.

The silver haired girl wouldn't put it past the older woman to remove an obstacle if it became too big to ignore.

This was the underground world, the green eyed girl had to tred lightly here in order to survive. Well that is until she earned power. If you had nothing backing you up, then you were in deep trouble and she was currently one of the many people in that situation. Unlike Bianchi, she doubted that the Marino family would care about her - after all, she _was_ the bastard child.

Therefore, until she had a stable ground to move upon, she'd stay out of the radar as much as possible. That didn't stop her however, from letting her thoughts expand however, and soon her notebook of ideas grew wilder and wilder; until most of the pages were filled. It wasn't a surprise, as in order to survive a world like this, she'd need to be as prepared as possible and it all came down to one thing; knowledge.

The more information that she had, the better - then no one would be able to one up her, nobody would be able to fool her and potentially hurt her.

Not like _she_ had done to her in her past life.

* * *

**...**

* * *

Only a year had passed since she had realized that truth; and yet, all of her plans had been torn up and spit at her feet.

The goal was to not get attached - attachments would've only hindered her progress and caused herself to be exposed, more than she had wished to. It was bad enough that Bianchi was already under that category, and it would do her no good to extend that list. Exposure was something she couldn't allow herself to show, after all, this was the mafia realm, and anything that was around her could have been used against her. Therefore it was simple, don't grow attachments, and keep to yourself. Easy, right?

Homura had to sigh at how wrong she was.

"Homura - chan? Are you paying attention?" A pair of emerald green eyes popped into her own cobalt ones, causing the younger girl to blink back, before responding back calmly.

"No."

Lavina sighed, before pinching the almost three year olds cheek, causing the silver haired girl to let out a light shriek and mock pout as the older woman began to laugh softly, before scolding the said girl. "Don't be cheeky Homura - chan, it is unbecoming of a lady."

Huffing the three year old left her right eye twitch as she scowled at that statement, her mouth twisting into a frown. While Homura knew that the differences between gender were different at this...universe, she had never expected it to be so large and diverse. Sure, woman were given good jobs and decent pay, but in the mafia world, unless you were an assassin, most woman were given off as brides or agreement views. It was probably worse in Japan, if she remembered the manga correctly, as females were viewed as weak and needed to be taken care off.

Going back to the mafia, Homura wondered if that was the case, then that was probably the reason that Bianchi was shifted to become an assassin in the first place, as she couldn't see her sister want to hurt someone. Then again, the silverette doubted that anybody wanted to hurt someone.

However, to survive, the human mind and body would commit a thousand sins - whether the heart liked it or not.

"Why does it matter-" The girl finally bit out, before raising her head to meet the other womans gaze, defiantly. "Whether I am a girl or a boy? Why do people keep saying that gender matters, when it really doesn't."

The womans emerald green eyes regarded her curiously, before she sighed and shook her head with worry and yet, pride beaming on her face. "Society is a vast ocean of judgement, Homura. You can only go with the flow, or submerge underneath it, in order not to drown."

Blinking back at the metaphor _(one which she didn't understand)_ the young girl cocked her head in confusion. Was she missing something here? "Drown? Why can't you just swim?"

"Some people don't know how to swim." Her tutor countered back flawlessly, causing Homura to knit her eyebrows together in thought.

"Then can't they learn?" The answer was obvious wasn't it, after all, learning how to swim was a very good skill to have; drowning wasn't a very fun way to die.

Well, dieing in general, wasn't very _fun._

Lavina seemed shocked at her answer, and blankly stared at her a few times, before smiling softly - ever so softly. The amount of emotion in her gaze caused Homura to grow confused - the feeling only growing when the older womans' eyes became misty. Was she...was she crying?

Why? Why was she crying?

Who **_dared_** make her teacher cry?

Of course, as mentally old as she was, the silverette still had no idea of what to do about a crying lady. Hesitantly, she moved forwards, before encircling the other woman around the waist, ignoring how she froze up at the contact. Then a pair of hands hugged her, as the three year old felt lips press a soft kiss onto the tops of her head. Burying her head into the emerald eyed womans' chest, Homura relaxed at the amount of...warmth she was feeling from that single person; before closing her eyes and sighing.

"You are an extraordinary girl Homura - chan." The silverette heard her teacher whisper into her hair, before straightening up and removing herself from her arms. "Not many are like you out there."

"W - Where is _there_?" Her voice was bridled with overflowing curiosity, and puzzlement.

Silence and then - "The world." Her teacher whispered, causing the three year old to look up at her, confusion on her face; however, the older lady just pulled away and wiped her tears with her sleeve, leaving Homura with a cold hollow feeling from the lack of warmth. Questions bubbled to the top of her brain and the young girl opened her mouth to ask them.

However, Lavina then smiled at her, causing her to blink in shock and shut her mouth, her brain going blank, at how happy it was. Her mind blared warning signs, each and every corridor telling her to escape and that her plans were going to fail if she didn't do something now. So she did, but it was the exact opposite than what she expected herself to do.

"Are you alright?" What a stupid question, she's isn't supposed to care so why - why was she acting like she did? "Please don't lie. Lies are bad for you."

"...No. I'm really not." Her tutor whispered, after a moment, her eyes gleaming with unshed tears.

Frowning, Homura ignored the fear in her heart and the cold chilling in her chest and focused on the way her teachers tears made her want to punch someone. Gesturing for the taller female to bend down, the almost three year old hesitated, before reaching up and wiping the water which was forming in the corners of Lavina's eyes. Smiling up at the woman, the young girl took her bigger hand in her own, before pulling it towards her - her face lighting up with hopes of diverting her attention.

"You shouldn't cry. Crying makes people look bad." Only when she finished the sentence, did the silverette realized how rude it sounded. Wincing, the almost three year old opened her mouth and began to backtrack in order to not insult the woman, however, she was stopped when Lavina shot her a fond look.

As the older woman laughed at her actions the young girl had to tune out the other noises, just to focus on how the sound echoed throughout her mind. The idea of her teacher laughing, caused her heart to pound loudly in her chest and a large smile to creep across her face, without permission.

It was only then that she realized that against her best efforts, Lavina had woven her way into her heart.

Somehow, that prospect didn't seem as bad as it had before.

Even if, she had to re-plan everything now.

Dammit it, there went her entire evening.

* * *

**...**

* * *

Her first meeting with Dr. Shamal was much, much earlier than she expected it to be.

Well, technically it wasn't really a meeting; more like a look and go.

She'd been reading her book, it really was interesting as Homura didn't know that their were so many ways to make a human blind, when she heard her father and another man speaking in hushed tones in the left corridor. Blatantly listening in, the young girl made no attempt to hide herself, and stood at the end of the hallway, to observe the duo.

A man stood by the left side of her father, his height a half foot taller than the other man. Brown hair and tanned skin alongside of stubble of hairs caught the silverette's attention; causing her to tilt her head to the side as the stared at the other man, recognition flashing in her brain. However, it was only when his dark brown eyes turned to stare at her did she match a name to the face - one which caused a small gasp to escape her lips. Panic gripped the end of her mind, and before the two men could even open their mouth, she was gone; her dress flashing from behind the corner she turned.

Running down the corridor, the girl made it all the way to the garden; her heart pumping and her breathing ragged; before she stopped - completely surrounded by the greenery and flowers. Breathing harshly for a few moments, Homura barely had the presence of mind when she slumped to her feet - her green eyes widely staring off the in the distance.

So that was him then. Trident Shamal, the original Gokudera's teacher and role model.

Frowning, the girl stretched out her exhausted leg muscles her eyebrows crinkling together as she fell into deep thought. While it had been around a year since her sudden discovery at her rebirth, it was only then that Homura realized that the truth of the matter hadn't sunk in yet.

Rather, she had forced it to not sink in _(she was very good at convincing herself when needed)_.

She was lonely and vulnerable in a world full of _assassins._ Sure her brain was more developed than the average human and her hacking skills weren't something to laugh at; however, in a physical fight, she'd be down in a few seconds.

_Fuck. She was screwed, wasn't she?_

How could she get stronger? Sure she could go up and ask her father for lessons, but she doubted that he'd agree. Her instincts told her that he wanted his youngest child nowhere near the darker aspects of the mafia family; however, with her knowledge, that was near impossible. It wasn't like she could ask Lavina, as she was sure that woman would want her far away from the mafia as much as her father and her tutor knew nothing about defense.

Her stepmother was out of the question.

That meant that there was only one person whom she could turn towards.

"Sorella? What are you doing out here?"

A grin spread against her face, as Homura looked upwards, a gleam hidden behind her eyes.

"Bianchi...can you help me with som'thing?"

* * *

While the original Gokudera and herself were very different, there was one thing which will always bring them together - something which Homura would look back years from now and silently wonder about the irony.

The chords of the piano were almost like a hymn to her, her chubby fingers gliding over the keys like a prayer (an odd thing, when she didn't believe in god). The sound filled the hallways, bathing each corner with a certain sense of depth and letting all which was lurking near and far grow stronger and stronger with the melancholy in the tone. Her eyes were shut, the darkness behind them filled with scenery of whatever picture she was painting; her lips humming along to the solemn rhythm.

It's only then, when she's playing piano, that the silver haired girl could forget about her surroundings, her mask and most importantly, herself.

Hours would have passed, before she would open her eyes again - numbly staring into the distance as the melody still vibrated in her ears, and how new callouses would have formed on her hands. However, the only thing which she could always feel was the solidity of the fact that she was all alone; that and the wetness of tears on her cheeks.

This. This was why she'd never allow her 'family' to see her in this state, not only because they would only showcase her ability, but also because allowing them to see her play the piano would mean she was exposing her deepest darkest secrets. Vulnerability was something which every human had, however, that didn't mean that one would want to expose it. Besides in the mafia rule book, it said that one must conceal all of their thoughts - or else they'd be submerged in the waves of emotions.

Shutting her eyes, the silverette whined slightly when she found herself being shifted into a pair of warm arms; a smile growing at her lips, when her...mother _(she finally accepted the fact, ignoring how it took so long), _kissed the top of her head.

Maybe vulnerability was against the rules; but well, Homura had always been a rebel.

A little thing such as rebirth, wouldn't change that.

* * *

**...**

* * *

**Ehh hehehe. Surprise? **

***Dodges as tomatoes fly at me* **

**Sorry this is so late, but I kind of had a writers block about this book and was unhappy at the shortness of this chapter. However, there's nothing more I can write without ending on a good note. So here you all go! Hopefully, I'll be able to finish up my school work so I can update my other stories - but we'll see how that goes. **

**To all of you whom have stuck with this book, even with my crappy update schedule, I thank you; the next chapter will be on it's way soon. **

**Ja ne, for now! **

**~ Titania of Fairies.**


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